Friends and family of the US Economy extend their gratitude to Hank Paulson and the surgical team at the Treasury Department Hospital.

A surgical procedure performed Sunday afternoon successfully removed 2 large cancerous growths from the stomach of the US Economy. In a moment of post-surgical brevity, surgeons named these extracted growths Fannie and Freddie.

When first alerted that this surgery would be necessary, family members were reminded that such procedures are not unusual. In the late 1980’s, Swedish Economy, Norwegian Economy and Finnish Economy all endured similar surgical procedures. Today, these Economies enjoy a normal healthy lifestyle and are expected to live long and prosper.

Surgeons do however advise that US Economy is a complex patient that has not taken care of itself very well. As such, more minor surgical procedures may be necessary over the coming 2 years or so. Surgeons note that they are closely watching other small cancerous tumors growing within US Economy. Should these tumors start to pose a threat, they too will have to be removed. To assist in monitoring these tumors, surgeons have taken the liberty of naming them - Sun Trust, Wachovia, Fifth Third Bancorp, M&T Bank are but a few of the names selected.

Surgeons have made it clear that a leading cause of such cancerous growths is a heavy diet of mortgage and consumer debt. US Economy has been advised that it should start an immediate program of exercise and it should reduce its exposure to debt products.

In lieu of gifts and flowers or bedside visits, those who wish to extend encouragement for a speedy recovery are asked to make a purchase of either T Bonds or Wall Street equities.